there are so many things i dont like. about how and who and why and where i've been. but there are these just really average sort of days where i feel like, its okay.

i constantly find myself struggling to make people happy, usually my parents. because they deserve it. i think it doesnt matter what i do. i keep remembering sitting in donastrausse with paraic and crying and telling him how much i just want to be a good daughter for them. he said something that made me feel better. i cant remember it.




i dont even know what the fuck.

i fucking love girls. i love everything about them.

last night was warm and windy. erika and i were reading on the top bunk for awhile. i couldnt sleep. i said it out loud. erika couldnt sleep either. i opened the window and watched the leaves and shadows of leaves on the garage.

i had decided everything and everyone i was going to vote for before i got to the poll. but then, at the last second, my inner stoner burst forth from within, and i voted yes on prop 19, with a giggle.

the sun and shade and wind and leaves and cigarettes and smoke and concrete and clouds and hands and eyes and breathing and teeth