i miss my grandpa a lot right now because of learning how to use cameras and planning trips and signing up for next semester and stretching in the morning when i wake up and going to palm springs and he's not going to ask me exactly what streets i drove to meet them at their time share and he's not going to show up while we are all in the pool wearing short short shorts and its so silly to even think about it. its almost for selfish reasons, is the worst part. nobody is going to care about these things like he would care about them. and its odd to realize how much you would do for one person, how much of your actions and decisions are done for ... not approval, but enjoyment. to try to impress this most accomplished man by the smallest events in my life. and pictures. there's so many lost pictures.

i have an interview for a job tomorrow so that should be fun.