this is from an e-mail my grandpa wrote everyone to update them on his health, he has a brain tumor:

"That is where I stand currently and I will need a lot of luck in order not to croak prematurely."

sometimes i feel like a messenger pigeon. gathering and transporting experiences that will inevitably be pooled into a collection of our respective experiences that we have been separately collecting.


sometimes i feel not like that.

what day is it?
i think its the sixth... or the seventh?
i think its the eighth...
okay but like what day is it?
...oh..... i have no idea.

i am being forced into the funniest situations, things i would never do normally. its excellent. yesterday paraic and i walked to the park and bought weed off a group of africans hiding in the bushes. it was potentially the coolest thing i've ever done. when we were high we were both tripping out about time. 'two years have gone by and we're just here in this setting' 'yeah like, imagine if someone could've just told us- look, this is all thats going to happen. in two years, you're going to be stoned walking through a park in germany- then we could've just been like -dope that sounds good enough'

i saw fernelly play last nigh at this underground bar that sort of felt like a cave. when i got there i didnt know where anyone was so i was standing in a crowd of strangers watching a german puppet show. amy is out of town now but the first night we went out i had so much fun. we drank vodka at home and a beer on the way to A bar. THEY LET DOGS IN THE BARS HERE. let me repeat that DOGS IN THE BARS. its basically my dream come true. plus every bar i've been to has just felt like i was chilling in someones living room. also, you can smoke inside here, which is great because i smoke, but hard to get used to, my eyes are still burning.

this is crazy. i'm really glad i'm here.

amy taught me how to say 'we're having fun' in german. i cant spell it. i'm not even going to try. but i like to instead, switch around and ask people 'are we having fun?'

it cost me $580 to get here. its been just about two years since i had seen paraic. we are still friends. we are still friends and its exactly the same and finding that out while walking through tier garten last night, made me realize i had already gotten more than my money's worth out of this trip. i love him and i was so worried about how our relationship would be and i couldn't have asked for a better experience upon getting here. people had told me he was 'so different, not the same paraic' but to me he seems just, wonderfully famliar. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL JOE AND SEAN AND KEVIN AND GARRETT AND JULIET ARE HERE. i cannot wait to go to rome with juliet and i cannot wait for the camping and the hitching and the everything.

i went to lunch today with fernelly and amy to this really good vietnamese restaurant that they call 'temptation' because its so good, too hard to resist. i'm going to go there. a lot. after amy and i got coffee and went to a second hand store where i got a comfortable sweater, something i had totally forgotten to bring with me, and some dope high waisted but baggy trousers, which i had been trying to find at home for some time. it was really windy and there was bits of white fuzz or pollen or something floating around in the air from the trees. its crowded but not too bad because its gray outside. its cold but managable with a scarf and jacket on. i feel really good. i'm happy i did this.